FridayFix™: 2012 Tour Schedule!


Scott's 2012 tour and appearance schedule has been set! Check out all the fun below as we set up a little West Coast vs. East Coast rivalry! There will be freebies for pre-ordering both NOCTURNAL and THE MVP, freebies for showing up at a tour stop, and even a treat for whichever coast makes the best showing once both tours are done. You're really going to want to listen to all these details Junkie, so I'm not even going to mention the big secret news about Scott maybe buying stock in Hostess to save the chocodile.*

Click here to see the full 2012 tour schedule!

*Disclaimer: Scott did not buy stock. Chocodiles are kind of gross
...Click to continue or comment

THE ALL-PRO takes 2nd in Tor.com reader's poll

Also: Boom!
THE ALL-PRO took second in the Tor.com 2011 reader's poll. Why? Because Junkies f-ing rock, that's why. It was a fun poll and the people at Tor did a great job monitoring for shenanigans.

The article is a fun read, because they seem a tad amazing that authors who are not household names but have the magic voodoo known as "an online presence" can do well in these type of contests. What is this mysterious "online presence?" It's also known as treating your fans with constant respect and listening when they talk to you. Magic sauce!

THE ALL-PRO Episode #17


Advertisement It's Week Three and the Krakens are back at home, where it's foggy and wet under the dome for their game against Coranadillana Cloud Killers. Will the orange and the black continue their winning streak?

PROMO IN THIS EPISODE:
The Rogue Plague, a special episode of the Leviathan Chronicles podcast series. This one's written by Mighty Mur Lafferty.

SHOW SPONSOR:
Save big bucks on printer ink and laser toner at 4InkJets.com with the coupon code SIGLER, which saves 10% and gets you free shipping. Junkies have saved hundreds, and one IT Junkie has saved his company 
thousands of dollars with this code.

Public school education and LOL-cats

What's wrong with you people? Seriously?
You humans, you're a hypocritical bunch, ain't ya? I mean, imagine if me and a pack of my best doggie friends lined up outside a home for the mentally impaired, pointed and laughed, then took pictures of them and added their actual misspoken quotes, then emailed those pictures to more friends and even made web sites glorifying the lack of mental prowess? Would you think that was cool? Hell no, I'd be vilified by the Liberal news mafia and before I know it that paragon of virtue Bill Mahr would open up his monologue with a snarky commentary about me. That's what would happen if animals mocked people.

Click here to read my opinion of your idiotic "LOL-cats." 


...Click to continue or comment

Eye candy: preliminary NOCTURNAL trailer art

April 3 is coming fast, have you pre-ordered?

A little teaser for you, because that's what I am, a tease. Take a look at this preliminary art of Sir Voh and Fort from the NOCTURNAL trailer. John Duninvant is the artist, and he is a sick, sick little monkey. John has teamed up with Kevin Capizzi to produce the NOCTURNAL trailer, which will be moving graphics in the style of an enhanced comic book.

All y'all OJs might recognize Capizzi's name. He did the EARTHCORE cover and also the original ANCESTOR white cover. He also did the creature CGI and a shit-ton of work on the ANCESTOR trailer.

Oh, and I have seen more art than this. You will all probably jizz in your pants a little. 

THE ALL-PRO Episode #16


Advertisement It's Week Two in the GFL season, as the Krakens travel to Yall to take on the Yall Criminals. Who will win the quarterback showdown between Quentin and Criminals all-star Rick Renaud, the highest-paid player in the history of the game?

Off the field, is Quentin being watched? Watched by powerful organizations? The Tweedy brothers get Quentin a present, because -- dammit -- they just care so damn much.

PROMO IN THIS EPISODE:
The Secret World Chronicle podcast series.

SHOW SPONSOR:
Save big bucks on printer ink and laser toner at 4InkJets.com with the coupon code SIGLER, which saves 10% and gets you free shipping. Junkies have saved hundreds, and one IT Junkie has saved his company 
thousands of dollars with this code.

Movie review: TROLL HUNTER

The best Norwegian found-footage monster-hunter movie you will see this year!
Let's get this out of the way: Oh my god this movie kicks so much gigantic ass.

Ah, I feel better!

Seriously. I know the "found footage" thing has been done to death since BLAIR WITCH redefined low-budget movie-making. Done. To. Death. REC, PARANORMAL ACTIVTY, CLOVERFIELD, APOLLO 18, and on and on and on. 

The makers of TROLL HUNTER didn't try to reinvent the wheel. They found a way to write "kids with a camera" into the milieu, then send those kids in to the mountains of Norway to track down a bear poacher. Like BLAIR WITCH, everything you see is through the camera carried by one of the characters.

Unlike most found-footage flicks, however, this is a monster movie. The first time I saw said monster, it took my breath away. Because of the special effects? No, the FX are solid but not spectacular. The reason the first reveal riveted me was because of the long, slow setup, a setup in which we come to share the main characters' skepticism. There's nothing unusual about the formula of this movie; what's impressive is the way they deliver that formula. Little scenes with the college kids help lull you into believing these are real people. Despite the subtitles, you feel like you're on the excursion with the characters, you really get to know these people and feel for them as the challenges mount. 

Honestly, despite the fact that CLOVERFIELD's budget was probably 10,000 times as big as TROLL HUNTER's, this Norwegian film clearly comes out on top. It's full of tension, excitement and comic relief.

The scientific explanation for the paranormal occurrence is laughable, but hey, at least they tried. Unlike most bullshit ghost/vampire/werewolf/supernatural flicks, TROLL HUNTER sets up a rules system. The movie obeys that system and doesn't give you any deus ex machina easy outs. Their "what-if" spin on the rampaging monster scenario is pretty clever, and works well within their rule set.

I wasn't that impressed with the ending. It's chock-full of stressful, white-knuckle moments, but the plot breaks down a bit, the only nock on an otherwise stellar horror film.

In short, I was totally fucking impressed. I wish I'd made this movie. If you haven't seen it, rent it. Right away. 

Junkie Creations: Krakens Monkey


A tiny little Krakens sweatshirt on a tiny little monkey. Sweater by Kelly Harris, the monkey's name is Tasha. Note the "reserved for MVP" bag which is waiting for a nice little book that will ship 9/4/12. Boom. Yeah, it's like that. 

Signostication comes true: Cetaceans sue to be free!

With much swagger and a Very Important Science Fiction Author air of self-importance, I'm going to say that I called this shot. The BBC is reporting that five killer whales are the "plaintiffs" in a lawsuit to set them free from Sea World in San Diego, CA.

The whales are being kept "as slaves." This is apparently the first time a US court has heard legal arguments over whether animals should enjoy the same constitutional protections as humans.

"Called it?" Nay, I do believe my work actually made this happen. 

Unfortunately, the shot I called is being fired by the loons at PETA (they of the Sea Kittens fame). While I am glad people at PETA are reading my books, influencing their actions is a mixed bag at best. 

Junkies, if you recall the tale of Huey, Dewey and Louie from one of THE ALL-PRO's historical segments (they of the intelligent Dolphin species Delphinus albietz):

The world celebrated the first known non-Human sentient species. The three dolphins became worldwide media celebrities. Within weeks, however, the dolphins demanded to be released into the wild. They claimed that they had the same rights as any other sentient Earthlings, and that to keep them confined to Bietz’s research facilities was akin to imprisonment without cause.

Bietz strenuously objected, saying that Huey, Dewey and Louie were his property, not world citizens. He claimed more study and testing was required. Louie’s eloquent “Freedom Swim” speech dramatically rallied world opinion toward the plight of the three captive Dolphins. Just four months after Huey’s press conference, authorities ordered the dolphins’ release.

Compare that excerpt to the comments of Jeffrey Kerr, the lawyer representing the five whales:
"For the first time in our nation's history, a federal court heard arguments as to whether living, breathing, feeling beings have rights and can be enslaved simply because they happen to not have been born human. By any definition these orcas have been enslaved here."

Interestingly, one of the whales is Tilikum, who drowned his trainer during a show in February, 2012. PETA has not commented on whether or not Tilikum will also be tried for that murder of a living, breathing, feeling being.

A thank-you to Junkie Jason Farrow (@JMFTheVCI) for pointing this out to me on the Twitters.

THE MVP pre-order: the numbers, the book, and you.


It took us fifteen hours to sell 1,000 copies of THE MVP.  Fifteen is not a lot of hours:
  • In 2009 it took us 13 days to sell 1,000 copies of THE ROOKIE.
  • In 2010 it took us 6 days to sell 1,000 copies of THE STARTER.
  • In 2011 it took us 3 days to sell 1,000 copies of THE ALL-PRO.
Do they ever say "the fourth time's the charm?" If not, I might start saying that myself; try and make it a thing. Scott and I have been very happy with our year-over-year performance, but I won't lie: it is some kind of wonderful to be able to move 1,000 copies of a premium-priced, plushed-out hardcover in less than one day.

As always, this is only possible due to the dedication and tenacity of the exceptional people willing to walk this road with us. We are humbled by how extensively #junkiesfuckingrock, and we continue to strive for perfection because it's the best way to honor the commitment you guys make to our dreams.

I am immeasurably proud to be part of bringing Quentin's continuing quest out of Scott's mind and into our reality, and it warms my tiny black heart to see that so many people are excited about it too.

If you are looking for exact numbers, they won't be forthcoming. I'm a girl who takes managing expectations seriously, and there's simply no good way to do both things.

If you are wondering how many books we're printing, the answer is we don't yet know.  It'll be between 2,000 and 3,000, and where it falls depends on how many books are pre-sold between now and July 1st, when we have to give the printer our final details and finished files.

If you are wondering if THE MVP is worth the wait … oh hells yes it is. I promise.

My thoughts on the SuperBowl

The New York Football Giants won their fourth SuperBowl title with a 21-17 win over the New England Patriots, who are also a football team despite the fact that they do not have the word "football" in their official title. Giants QB Eli Manning won his second championship (see "Peyton," below), and played a fantastic game.

The GD Detroit Lions did not win the SuperBowl. Therefore the SuperBowl XLVI sucked. For the fourth time in the last five years, the big game was decided by four points or less, adding to the mystique of one of the world's biggest sporting events. This year's SuperBowl was an awesome affair, with great plays on both sides.

Click here to continue on and see my Very Important Opinion on the most important parts of the NFL's final contest.

...Click to continue or comment

THE ALL-PRO Episode #15

Advertisement

Click here to download
THE ALL-PRO Episode #15

IN THIS EPISODE:
T
he Krakens prepare to move into a Week Two contest against the Yall Criminals. Quentin finally gets payback for the trauma suffered in his meals with the Ki linemen. That's right, it's bar-b-que time!

ORDER "THE MVP"
The pre-order for GFL Book IV is live! This is our fastest-selling book to date, which is awesome. Click here to order.

PROMO IN THIS EPISODE:
• THRILLERCAST: A podcast for readers and authors of thriller and genre fiction, featuring interviews, reviews, the writing craft, and current issues in publishing.

SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!
Good luck to the Giants and the Patriots. If you're going to a SuperBowl party and you don't have a dog in this fight, wear your Krakens gear and spread the Sigler Stank. 

GFL T-SHIRTS!
We have new T-shirts for the Krakens, the Wabash Wolfpack, the To Pirates and the OS1 Orbiting Death, all available at the Sigler Store. Wear the colors of your favorite team for just $15. 

THE MVP pre-order!

Click on the image above to pre-order your copy of THE MVP, Book IV of the GFL series. Hurry! Someone else is getting a lower number than you. For the love of all that's holy, hurry!

FridayFix™: THE MVP pre-order is TOMORROW!

FridayFix sponsored by GoDaddy.com

Here we go Krakens, here we go (clap-clap!). It's almost on Junkies! The pre-order for THE MVP, Book IV of the GFL series starts tomorrow, February 4, 2012 at 9:00am Pacific Time.

THREE-MINUTE EPISODE RIGHT HERE!

Listen in for a few final notes about the site and what you'll see/do/buy tomorrow. This time it's even shorter than my last MVP-related FridayFix™.  Still  totally worth it. And, unlike last time, *this* time there might really be bunnies on the podcast!

NOTE: PayPal might give you a warning tomorrow when you go to buy the book. It's okay, it's just PayPal looking out for you. We've tested through that warning and it's fine. Click through and get your goods. 

(Disclaimer: still no bunnies.)

GoDaddy.com discount codes 

This episode of FridayFix™ is brought to you GoDaddy.com. Click the banner above to see great discount codes for Go Daddy, like the coupon code SCOTTCOM which gets you a brand-new domain for just $7.99, or SCOTTDEAL which saves 10% off your entire order. Visit the discount page to see all the savings codes.

You Humans and your goddamn magic rooms

All right, I know that I'm old. I know this. I'm 98 in "dog years," which we all realize is an arbitrary number assigned by "the man" to keep my people down. How come nobody talks about our civil rights, huh? Got an answer for me, smart-guy?

I didn't think so. You all are too busy laughing at goddamn cats that are too stupid to spell correctly. Since when is laughing at retarded cats an acceptable form of behavior? Idiots.  

Anyway, I have a bone to pick with your kind, and not of the delicious milk variety (Purina FTW!). What the hell is up with your goddamn magic rooms? A door opens. I walk out of the hall into a room. The door closes. A few seconds later, the door opens ... into another hall! Black-magic chicanery, that's what I call it.

So here's my problem: sometimes I can't remember which part of the magic room is supposed to open up. Oh, that's my fault? Listen, asshole, you're the ones that build this crap, it's not my fault that I don't know which side of the magic room is going to magically open into Magic Land. Did I mention I'm 98 in dog years?

And my smart-ass "pal," Scott. What a douche, taking a picture of me from the open door of the magic room while I stare at a wall. How the hell was I supposed to know it was just a wall??? Huh?!

Humans ... someday I will bite you all. 

Meelion Word Update: January 2012

Um, this is harder than I thought ...
My boasty-boast New Year's Resolution to write one million new words in 2012 is off to a rocky start. That's my writing ego in the picture, taking a punch from Captain Reality. 

I started off on fire because I was cranking out the first draft of THE MVP (which goes on pre-sale right here on this site on Super Bowl Saturday, Feb. 4, 9am PT, noon ET, 5pm GMT). When I finished THE MVP, I puttered around a bit reveling in my glory. Well, glory (and FIFA 2012) doesn't pay the bills, folks. I had a bunch of zero-word days and discovered those are unacceptable if I want to accomplish this crazy goal. 

MONTHLY CALCULATION
• I wrote 61,777 words in January.
• I need to write 83,333 words a month to make 1,000,000 for the year
• I am now behind 21,556 words.

DAILY CALCULATION
• I averaged 1,993 words a day (8 pages)
• I am off of the required pace by 1,007 words per day (4 pages)
• To catch up in February, I need to write 2,976 (if I write every day in Feb) + 1,007 (to make up for January deficit) = 3,983 words a day (that's 16 pages a day)

Impossible? Hardly. Difficult? You bet your country ass it is. I have had plenty of 5k+ days in my career, but an entire month of 4k days is a biggun. Hopefully, I can carve into the deficit in February and finish it off in March. 

THE ALL-PRO Episode #14

THE ALL-PRO cover

Click here to download
THE ALL-PRO Episode #14

It's opening day in the GFL! Teams tear into each other in hopes of taking that first step toward the Galaxy Bowl title. Quentin leads his team onto the home turf of Ionath Stadium to do battle against the Isis Ice Storm. Can Quentin overcome the galaxy-wide points-shaving scandal and grab victory in front of 180,000 screaming Krakens fans? 

THE MVP PRE-ORDER IS COMING!
Mark it on your calendar, folks:SuperBowl Saturday, Feb. 4, 9am PT, noon ET is yourchance to get a low Advertisementnumber on the signed, numbered, limited-edition hardcovers of BOOK IV in the Galactic Football League series. 

PROMO IN THIS EPISODE:
HELL WATCH by Laramie Taylor (a.k.a., "Laramie the Gimp" here on the scottsigler.com forums).

FridayFix™ GFL T-Shirts!


Ladies & gentlemen, please allow me to introduce our new in-house designer, Scott "Big Fish" Pond. And since we wanted to announce Big Fish in a Big Pimpin' way, feast your eyes on four brand-new GFL team T-shirts. Sha-ka-paaaaoowww! These were designed by Scott, and now you can buy them. Click on the shirt you want, put that thang in your cart, and when you're done ordering all you want just check out (a.k.a., give us your moneys).  

We have small, medium, large, XL, 2XL and 3XL. Since we are in pre-order, if you need a special size (teeny or big), we can hook you up, just email ARealGirl with your request.

GFL influencing future NFL uniform design?

Well, I also invented the internet, so who knows?
Here's a very cool article I stumbled across thanks to a link from science secret agent Tom Merritt. Business Insider showed off "crazy, science fiction-y uniform designs" in a recent post, and damn if these things don't look like the GFL come to life. Let's go ahead and admit it -- the GLF is slowly infiltrating the world of football, and things will never be the same.  


Click through to see if your team gets a uniform rave-up. The picture above of the concept art for the Washington Redskins. Hmmm, six feathers, three on the right, three on the left ... does this design resemble a certain team from Ionath, or is it just me?

Maybe it's just me ...

Oh, snap! Look who's online!

A stalkerrific tool for you stalkertastic Junkies
Check out the big brain on Brad! And "Brad," in this case, is the BackMyBook guys who created this site (but you already knew that). Some new features just rolled out, including a nice little tool to let you know which of your fellow Junkies are online. See the image in the upper right-hand corner, where you log in? A new link there tells you how many registered Junkies are online. It doesn't represent how many people are on the site in total, just the registered users. Cool, no? 

You can also now make "user comments" directly to a fellow Junkie. If you're going to say "howdy" to each other, or get into a side conversation with many back-and-forth responses, this is a great way to do it. So, if you're trading comments on a blog post and those comments go off-topic, consider taking the conversation "offline" in this way -- you still get to talk about that new pair of curly-toed shoes, and the rest of the Junkies can focus on the topic at hand. 

Audible doesn't want indie authors? Too bad for them.

You can have my free podcast when you tear it from my cold, dead hands
Scott's blog I feel compelled to respond to Evo Terra's blog post about Audible Creation Exchange, or ACX. Evo Terra runs podiobooks.com. He has been at the forefront of free, serialized audiobooks (also known as "podiobooks") since 2005. Podiobooks.com offers audiobooks that are almost exclusively narrated by the author. 

Please read his post, but in a nutshell, here is what it says:
  • Audible Creation Exchange (ACX) is part of Audible.com, a place to buy and sell downloadable audiobooks.
  • ACX, on their own website, says they are actively seeking authors that want to record their own audiobooks. "Your book, your voice."
  • ACX positions itself as a champion of the little guy with website text like this: "Too many authors have been left out of the quickly growing and culturally repositioned digital audio market. Until now.”
  • Evo wanted to let ACX sell the nearly 600 audiobooks available on podiobooks.com, if the individual authors wanted to do the deal.
  • ACX has told Evo, in no uncertain terms, that they will not sell an audiobook that is also available for free.
Click through to read my full response to this and get my thoughts on Audible's myopic efforts to control content and take choice away from the customer, because you obviously aren't smart enough to make your own decisions. 
...Click to continue or comment

THE ALL-PRO Episode #13

THE ALL-PRO cover

Click here to download
THE ALL-PRO Episode #13

Along with the glory of professional sports, there comes the heartbreak of the "final cut," when teams release players that didn't make it on the roster for the regular season. Quentin watches as the Krakens finalize their 2684 roster, and says goodbye to friends and teammates.
Advertisement
Quentin also confronts Don Pine about the Galaxy Sports feature story by Yolanda Davenport, the story that paints Quentin as a villain -- because he's taking the blame for Don's choices. Will Don step up and be accountable?

NEW SPONSOR!
GoToMyPC is the latest advertiser helping to keep this podcast free. They add one minute to the "four minutes of fury," but give it a listen and then enjoy the story. 

PROMO IN THIS EPISODE:
THE ANGEL HUNTER by Jerrod Begora

More site work, be patient!

Don't make me stop this car ...
As you can see, we're making more adjustments to the site. We know about missing icons. But if stuff breaks, do email us media@scottsigler.com. If you got a butt-load of emails all of the sudden, our bad.

You can't make an omelette without breaking the kneecaps of a couple of guys who owe you money, if you know what I mean.

FridayFix™ Scott on the NSFWShow, Jan 2012

 
FridayFix sponsored by GoDaddy.com Sometimes, Scott gets to do guest appearances on other shows. Sometimes the shows go well, sometimes not so much. Rarely, however, have I ever seen the FDØ™ enjoy himself as much as he did on the NSFWShow (part of the TWiT Network). 

We've linked to the audio, as usual, but if you have time do set aside an hour and watch the video. Hosts Brian Brushwood and Justin Robert Young are funny as hell, and the fans of the NSFW show make in-joke art as the show happens that will blow your mind. 
Click here to download audio of FridayFix™ Scott on NSFWShow January, 2012 
(Disclaimer: no minds were actually blown in the filming of this video)
Save 15% off of orders of $75 or more at Eastbay.com with the coupon code AFSIGLERGear up for hoops and rep your favorite team with basketball shoes & fan gear from Eastbay.com. Use the code AFSIGLER to save 15% on NBA merch from the Lakers, Celtics & Miami Heat, or on shoes and workout gear from Nike, Adidas, New Balance, STX and Under Armor. If your order is below $75, save 10% with the code AFSCOTT1.

Junkie Brainstorm Session: GFL/Siglerverse numbering system

Allright, you lazy, good-for-nothing beatniks! Get out of that got, drop your linnen and stop your grinnin'!

This year is going to see as many as six new Dark Øverlord products enter the marketplace. ARealGirl and I are starting to plan for the far future, and we want your brains (for doing stuff brains are actually supposed to do, not to put in our belly). 

We want to develop a naming system that shows the exact timeline of Siglerverse cannon, and have that nomenclature be included in titles. We want people to be able to see, at a glance, the order of Siglerverse books.

It's far more complex than it sounds. Click through to the full article to see our dilemma, and if you want to help we'd love your thoughts. 
...Click to continue or comment




Scott